Uninteresting and Free

One of life’s greatest revelations these last few years has been recognizing how profoundly satisfied I am in the simplicity. I do not struggle with ideas of recognition or feel a need to travel and seek in order to journey into my depths. I do not feel unknown to myself. This is something a younger me would have not expected, but it’s only because she was too embedded in survival mode to recognize that she really doesn’t need much to feel joy.

I am rather uninteresting when it comes down to it.

I enjoy quiet mornings and like many of us, don’t want anyone speaking to me during that first cup (or two 🤗) of coffee. I like being at home. Watching the chickens run around like little dinosaurs can entertain me for hours. I enjoy using my hands. Most of the time, they are busy with children and laundry and dishes and brooms but those moments where I can play with paints, the garden, beads, oils— oh, how I savor it.

I like to stay in.

I fall down a lot of rabbit holes. The world and everything about it— spiritually, physically, artistically— it fascinates me to no end. There’s so much to discover. I love that there are not only books and articles, but videos, movies, talks— all that let us glimpse into one another’s inner world. People amaze me.

I have no answers. Just more and more questions.

I do not find it necessary to gift myself a grand title to feel important.

I feel the magnitude of my importance in my relationships, in my relationship with God.

Titles are boring and self-serving in my opinion. I am Azia. That’s enough. If the things I share remind you that you’re not alone, that you’re created by a God who loves you, that this world is as nuts as you think it is— I am grateful for that. But I am not an authority. I do not want to be.

I want to be free to be as human as I am and profoundly imperfect. I will disappoint you. I disappoint myself sometimes. But such is life. We do our best in the moment and try with all my might to not cause harm.

This is enough for the people that it’s meant to be enough from.

I am not a performer, brand, guru, guide— just a woman, with very humble beginnings who hit the jackpot in the Love Lottery.

I’m quiet.

And I’m getting quieter still.

Let’s whisper. Let’s hold hands. Let’s watch the sun set and the clouds turn purple and pink.

Let’s just Be. And be okay with that.


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