Understanding more and more the peace of speaking less & living more.
When you’re embodied, legacy-building, focused on your big, full life— the margin to talk about it seems near non-existent. I can’t believe it took me this long to realize it. I think maybe somewhere, deep-down, I always knew that but it’s been a recent season where I’ve come to truly understand it.
The happiest people I know are not online.
I don’t think that is a coincidence.
I have always felt a lot of value in online spaces. I was a young girl on AOL dial-up in the 90’s. Much of my life has involved an online component to my expression. It was an opportunity to connect with others, to learn more about the world around us.
I wasn’t raised in a way where I was taught things about life— finances, cleaning, organization, cooking, etc. I learned these life skills on my own, often with the aid of the online world. Google, YouTube, these things becoming my elders in a way.
I know I’m not alone.
How sad the way society has failed so many of us.
In recent years, I’ve learned skill sets like canning and preserving food, how to care for my abundance of houseplants and that online environments can be incredibly toxic to our personal growth if we funnel too much energy into them.
It is easy to curate community, work and live entire lives online. These edited, finely-crafted images of ourselves meeting among other edited, finely-crafted images of others and a mirage of harmony exists. But the raw human, the difficult passages, the miscommunication and misunderstandings of true relationship are either non-existent or make it easy to unfollow/block. And poof! “Peace” is restored.
Real, tangible life doesn’t work like this.
People are annoying, grind your gears and some are even unavoidable. So, you can’t procure an image to deal with them. You have to learn to live embodied, with your integrity and utter, unedited human feelings.
Are you showing up in your life? Or are you talking about a life that doesn’t exist online?
I think many of us feel loneliness, and sadly, this is often unaccompanied with insecurities and low self-worth. Retweet’s, like’s— these things become a quick validation of The Self. But what do we really gain? If we feel a constant need to curate an image and to be received online, and are therefore spending what seems like hours a day on these spaces, what are we truly gaining outside of a stagnated existence sitting at our desk?
There’s talk of transcending the 9-5 desk job. But are you sitting at a desk all day curating an image?
I know there are influencers and creators who make a steal, financially speaking, with their online presence. But this is a much smaller percentage of users than we truly understand. And what is the cost? Capitalism fueling a person to be glued to their computers, phones, products, curated-image full-time to sell us something, anything.
Is that true liberation from the 9-5 or is it just another prison?
These are just questions and musings. Things that have been on my mind recently.
I receive emails weekly, to partner with this and that company. To use their products and leave a review and make some money. But I can’t bring myself to accept the offers.
I can’t bring myself to sit for hours and reopen my Etsy shop.
I can’t bring myself to tweet and engage in what suddenly feels like a weird way to spend my time when I could be napping with my partner, or writing, or cleaning, or running around outside with my kids, or cooking, or reading a novel, etc.
Don‘t get me wrong: I still see the value of being online. I’m writing this post, aren’t I? And I’ll share the links on my social media profiles. In many ways, this could be hypocritical, yeah?
What I won’t do is spend 3 hours of my day looking at my phone, funneling every thought I have online. I did that for a time and it did nothing for me.
I guess that‘s where I’m at for now.