Shop Opening & On Dreams...

“...and then, I have nature and art and poetry, and if that is not enough, what is enough?”
—Vincent Willem Van Gogh

I *finally* began the update to my Etsy shop! I went on “vacation” in December to birth my daughter and take time to recalibrate with a new member of the family coming into our home. That was a good decision. The postpartum period, mixed with 3 kids doing distance learning and a rowdy toddler, made for a rollercoaster of emotions & chaotic energy. I do plan to talk about it soon, but not today. I will say, it was such a difficult time and I’m so grateful for Adam, my friends & family who supported me during that scary time. Postpartum Anxiety is so serious and we need to talk more about it.

I’ve been doing my best to anchor into the discipline of listing items— as it does take a lot of time and is my least favorite part of the process. I am creating everyday and it starts to pile up. My lovely partner is often, and gently, giving me the side-eye like, “Azia... what are we to do with all this?” 🤣 He’s very patient with me.

We remodeled our basement last year, we created 2 bedrooms and a finished family room and it meant I was booted from my artistic space. I have been left to create all over the house, and it’s not unlikely you’ll find a painting or some kind of in-progress work on the kitchen table, or lying across the bed spread. Fortunately, we have done some finagling in the laundry room and my new art/writing space is almost finished. I cannot wait for everything to bo organized and to again have a home. Not to mention, a space for me to just be wild and keep as messy and in-progress as my life as a mother of 5 demands!

I am excited to get the prayer bead listed so they can find their home. I absolutely love beading prayer necklaces. It’s such a delicate and mindful process. It centers me. They are beaded with so much love and intention, each one unique in their own way.

I have a lot more to list but I am all air and water— and that means I am often just a wave. I do my best works when I’m able to just flow as I’m guided. Anyone else relate?

I honestly just need a store-front. I’ve been looking into small business loans, but I don’t think my credit score, student loan debt and stay-at-home-writer-mom employment status looks too good on paper. It’s unfortunate when we have to grapple with the way society can weigh down our dreams to the point it almost feels impossible to bring them into form. I have a decade of retail and merchandising management under my belt and I know it’s an area I would thrive in. I’ve always dreamt of having my own little store. Books, trinkets, oil blends, small press books— I even have a name picked out (it came to me in a dream!) but, patience and surrender is the current name of the game.

I actually got my first retail management job by accident when I was 19 years old. I was shopping at a store called Vanity in the Eden Prairie Center when the manager started chatting me up about my outfit. We hit it off and she offered me an assistant job right there on the spot. I would later be an assistant manager at Wet Seal and a merchandising manager for Barnes and Noble.

I’m praying for the same happenstance, while putting in the work, to have my storefront unfold. My oldest daughter is soon going to be of age to be employable and I would love to have a family business for her to thrive in. When I think of the beauty and softness, the ability to bring in products that my friends are making into my community, the idea of a small little safe place here for the eccentric & curious: oh! My heart swells!

Anchoring. Anchoring. Anchoring.

It’s all on God’s time, yeah?

In the meantime, you can check out my shop here.


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